Catching up on Zzzzzzzzzzz

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.” ― George Carlin

Our cats have a hard life. Oh they do… Here is their daily routine according to them:

7AM – Woken up by humans. Forced to have cuddles. Given dry food as recompense.

7.30AM – Humans leave. Forced to romp, play, chew and attack sibling.

9AM – Eat and drink.

9.02AM – 11.30AM – Sleep and snuggle with sibling.

Repeat 7.30 – 11.30AM until humans return.

4PM – Male human arrives. Forced to have snuggles. Sleep on his knee until 5.30PM.

5.30PM – Female human arrives. Forced to have snuggles.

6-9PM – Alternate between being forced to romp, play, chew and attack sibling and sleep, snuggle with sibling.

9PM – Humans give cold wet food.

Sleep until 4AM. Have a mad and sleep until it all resumes.

So as you can see… It is a very hard life! Here is the evidence of just how hard they have it.

IMAG1356 IMAG1504 IMAG1679 IMAG1686 IMAG1693 IMG-20130920-WA0000 IMG-20131012-WA0000 IMG-20131018-WA0000 IMG-20131028-WA0002 IMG-20130821-WA0000 IMG-20131028-WA0000 IMG-20131113-WA0000 IMG-20131210-WA0000 IMG-20131231-WA0000 IMG-20140112-WA0001 mms_img1930445590 photo-1

But mum I’m comfy….

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” ― Groucho Marx

Most animals are famous for their ridiculous positions that are ‘comfortable’ and looking at their human owners slaves as if ‘yes and why are you looking at me?’

Well with four animals in our house they are all at fault of this at times!

Bertie makes packing for holiday mightily difficult!
Bertie makes packing for holiday mightily difficult!
This was my mother-in-law's thong... Not anymore! Bertie laid on that for a good 2 hours.
This was my mother-in-law’s thong… Not anymore! Bertie laid on that for a good 2 hours.
It was cold... He made his own bed!
It was cold… He made his own bed!
Newest 'comfy' place... Just waiting for someone to accidentally step on him... And yes, that is indeed a rug!
Newest ‘comfy’ place… Just waiting for someone to accidentally step on him… And yes, that is indeed a rug!
You have no idea how hard it was to get her into this pillow case... As soon as we want her out, she does this. *Sigh*
You have no idea how hard it was to get her into this pillow case… As soon as we want her out, she does this. *Sigh*
In case you were wondering, this is Daeny's cage... Also known as Bertie's bed.
In case you were wondering, this is Daeny’s cage… Also known as Bertie’s bed.
No comfier place than mum's laptop.
No comfier place than mum’s laptop.
Except for maybe her chest. I could wear him as a broach for hours as I work around the house.
Except for maybe her chest. I could wear him as a broach for hours as I work around the house.
Helping with the washing... Or not!
Helping with the washing… Or not!

When a bearded dragon thinks you are food

“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.”
― Marilyn Monroe

We have had heat lamp issues in our house recently. Both the snake and the lizard’s heat lamps blew. Now it has been fairly warm so we didn’t worry too much but only have one spare. The snake is more ‘fragile’ in relation to the cold and the lizard has a heat rock so the snake won.

This left us with one very nice, happy and warm snake but one slightly chilly lizard. He has been sitting on his heat rock fairly regularly and I have been being a lovely mother and regularly getting him out so he can have body warmth until we can go and buy another lamp.

This leads us to the issue we had yesterday. He generally loves sitting on my chest, a little like a broach (typical man) he just treats it like a shelf for him to sit on. This is a usual habit and easy for me as it leaves me hands free to do whatever else I like. Yesterday however, I was wearing a t-shirt with a shiny yellow batman symbol on it. I didn’t even think about this, but to him… My goodness… Blew his mind!

First he refused to sit on it and kept running either up onto my shoulder or down into my hands, then when he finally stopped and sat there. He was dead still. Unusual for him. Then puffed out his beard, at this point I was beginning to understand and then he attempted to eat the yellow design…. Hmm… Turns out my lizard thought that my breasts were edible…. Guess who went straight back into his enclosure.

Note to self. Do not wear that top while handling Daeny again!

The subtle aroma of snake vomit

“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” – Benjamin Franklin

The lovely smelly girl when she did NOT have a tummy ache!
The lovely smelly girl when she did NOT have a tummy ache!

I would like to tell you a story. Today I walked in the door after a long day at work and stopped, sniffed, and paused… With no further ado immediately went and checked on the snake.  To put it in perspective, many people, when they hear you have a pet snake ask about how they… to put it gently ‘pass their excrement’ and hilariously, even believe that maybe they did not do so. Well for anyone who has ever owned a snake knows, out of any animal I have ever encountered, they can produce the largest stinks known to man!

On this day however, it was a new stink, one I had not yet encountered. Snake vomit… We fed our lovely on Saturday, everything was going well then Monday night there is a lovely very stinky lump in her cage. Happily she appears to be fine, if a little grumpy. Clearly has a bit of a belly ache. So after every pet owners first response, checking she was OK and getting some expert advice. I then considered what to do about the mess. I am home alone, with a likely quite irritable python in a smelly cage… Now whilst I will happily handle her alone on a normal day, handling a 1.4 meter long snake with a stomach ache doesn’t rate high on my list of things I would like to do this evening.

So, I am resolved to open the house wiiiiide up, with some lovely scented candles burning awaiting my husband’s arrival after work when the two of us can clear out the stinky box.

Cheers to the next five hours of sitting in a house gifted with the gentle aromas of frangipani scented candles…. and snake vomit…

Sigh! We pet owners must be slightly nuts!